Stay With Me
by ninewood
Summary: Will Traynor wakes from being ill with pneumonia and finds Louisa Clark sitting there. During his time in the hospital, he plans a surprise for the woman he loves, but something goes wrong.


_**A/N: I hope you enjoy Will's POV. Please review.**_

The first thing I notice as I start waking up is the familiar hiss of the oxygen mask. Having had pneumonia before, I recognize that sound, but what I didn't expect was the feel of someone removing the oxygen mask. I felt them wipe my face with something then I felt soft lips on mine.

"_What is going on?"_ I thought.

Was I having a really good dream or was I dead and some angel was kissing me?

I opened my eyes just enough to see something wonderful. An angel had kissed me, but she wasn't just any angel. She was mine.

Louisa Clark.

"Hi," she said with a smile, but I didn't feel like smiling. She had planned an amazing holiday for me then I go and get sick. I just look at her as she talked, but I didn't feel like talking. I had ruined everything. I even told her I wasn't in the mood to talk and her whole face changed. I hate to see her upset, but seeing her sad was worse. The nurse had the bad timing of entering the room to examine me as Louisa left and I just looked at the ceiling.

A few days passed as I recovered and I was surprised when Louisa's mother, Josie Clark, visited me.

"Hello, Dear," she said, sitting on the chair next to the bed.

"Hello."

"Lou told us about what happened. Poor girl is really upset."

"Yes, and it's all my fault," I told her, but Josie just shook her head.

"No, you can't take the blame. She said these things happen."

"They shouldn't happen," I growled and she hushed me, sliding my left hand into hers.

"Easy now."

"I'm sorry. I just get so _frustrated_. I _hate_ being stuck in a body that doesn't work. I _hate_ being sick, tired and in pain all the time."

"Believe it or not, but I do understand how you feel," she said and I gave her a confused look. "When my dad had his stroke, he became so angry and frustrated. He was so independent and he was used to living life by his own rules. But now? Now, he can't really speak and I have to help him do things. The thing is my dad never gave up. He fights every day to keep going."

"He's stronger than I am. I just want things to be over."

"What a horrible thing to say."

"Do you believe a person has the right to die if they want to?"

"Yes, but I do not approve of it."

"What would you say if I was thinking about it. About ending my pain and suffering?"

She thought for a long time then she looked at me.

"It's your choice, but you really need to think about the people you are leaving behind."

'I have thought about it. My parents and my sister. Nathan. Whatever friends I have left. But, most of all, Louisa. I told her she has this spark in her…a fire…and she needs to live. She needs to free herself of this cage she had put herself in and take life by the horns."

"Maybe she has and you just haven't noticed," she told me and my eyes widened. "Do you realize how much she has changed over these last few months? She was so predictable. Now? Now she goes off and plans a holiday for a man she just met. She spent all her time with Patrick, but now she wants to be with you."

"She broke up with Patrick?"

"No, not yet," she said then went silent for a few seconds. "Do you know what I think? I think you need to make things up to her."

"Make things up to her?"

"She planned a holiday for you, so why not plan one for her?"

"But…"

"It can't be that hard. Just pick somewhere and take her."

"Mrs. Clark…"

"Josie."

"Josie, I can't just up and go somewhere."

'I know. Lou told me you have someone who looks after you in case you got sick. Was he going to go with you on this holiday?"

"Yeah, he was."

"Then he can go with you," she said with a smile and I smiled back.

"May I tell you something?"

"What is it?"

"She's the only reason I want to get up in the morning."

Josie looked like she was going to cry as the door opened and the nurse entered the room.

"Excuse me," the nurse said and we looked at her. "I need to examine him."

"That's fine," Josie said, standing, and she lightly cared the top of my head as she gave me a stern look. "Think about what we were talking about."

"I will. Just tell me something. If I do figure out where to take her, will you help me surprise her?"

"I would love to," she said then she left.

I spent the next few days thinking things through when something happened.

I found out Louisa had already booked another holiday.

I admit Mauritius was amazing, but I also knew there were things I needed to do before I took Louisa on her surprise holiday.

I had tried to get hold of Michael Lawler to stop him from mailing the letter I had written to Louisa shortly before I became ill, but he had been busy and he never returned my calls.

I also tried to talk with the doctor who was going to do my procedure at Dignitas in August, but he was on holiday.

My frustration got the better of me and I regret what happened next.

On our last night, she opened her heart to me and I, in turn, was brutally honest with her.

I hurt her.

I broke her heart.

What was worse was her running off and I was helpless to stop her.

"Are you trying to break the drawer?" I asked Nathan after Louisa had sent him to take me back to my room and he glared at me.

"Mate, you really don't want to mess with me right now," he said and this was the first time I ever saw disappointment in his eyes.

"Sorry."

"You're _sorry_?! I saw Lou earlier! She was in _tears_! I have _no_ idea what you told her, but you have literally destroyed her!"

"I know that."

"I knew you were a selfish, insensitive bastard, but I didn't know you were _heartless_! She loves you!"

"I love her, too. But…"

"But what?! Do you _really_ think being like this matters to her?!"

"She told me it doesn't."

"Then _why_?! _Why_ did you do that?!"

"I'm going to _die_ in a few days!"

"I bloody know that!"

"I didn't want her to waste her life!"

"So, you decided to _destroy _it?!"

"That is the second time you said that," I said then I felt a little dizzy. Nathan examined me as he gave me something to lower my blood pressure and to calm me down. After he checked again, I sighed and looked at the ceiling. "Have you called my doctors and specialist and tell them to close my files?"

"Not yet. Why?"

"I'm still going to need them."

"You're…? Wait. What are you saying?"

"What does it sound like I'm saying?'

"It sounds like you're not going to Switzerland."

"Well, I am going to Switzerland, but not to Dignitas."

"Ok, now I am confused," he said as he sat on the bed. "If you're not going to Dignitas then why are you going to Switzerland?"

"I was going to take her there to make up for the holiday we missed because I got sick."

"Why didn't you tell her?"

"It was a surprise,"

"What went wrong?"

"My frustration and my sarcastic side happened. That's what went wrong."

"I don't get it."

"Well, I got frustrated because she had booked this holiday before I could book mine. Then I couldn't get hold of Michael Lawler…."

"Why would you need to talk to him?"

"I had to stop him from mailing something to Louisa."

"What sort of something?"

"I had written her this letter. In it, I opened myself up to her."

"That sounds sweet."

"Not if you take into account that I also sent a cheque with it."

"Why did you do that?"

"It's not like I was buying her off or anything. It was just my way of giving her a little head start if and when she decided to move on with her life."

"Is that it?"

"No, I also opened a bank account for her. Again, it was just to help her out not to buy her off."

"What else was frustrating you?"

"I couldn't get hold of the doctor who was going to do my procedure at Dignitas."

"You wanted to tell him you changed your mind."

"Yeah," I said with a nod. We became silent for a few minutes when he checked my vitals then he placed the medical equipment away before he sat back down.

"So, instead of keeping your cool, you lashed out at her," he said and I sighed while looking at the ceiling.

"Right," I said with a small nod. "She opens her heart to me and I run it over with my wheelchair."

"What did you do?"

"I needed her to fully understand how I felt. I didn't want her to waste her life being with me or to wake up one day and look at me with pity or resentment in her eyes. She said that wouldn't happen, but I told her she didn't know that."

"That wasn't a good thing to say."

"I know. She kept saying I should live my life like this, but I told her I didn't want to. That I loved the life I had and didn't want to give this one a chance. That I couldn't handle how I feel when I look at her or not being able to act on it if I saw her naked."

"Another bad thing to say."

"I really started getting angry and that was when I said my ending things was my choice. That I was going to Switzerland and that was that."

"What did she do when you said that?"

"She got upset and ran off."

"You do know what you have to do, right?"

"Yes, but I have no idea how to fix things."

I went silent for a few minutes and I looked out the window. My mind went back to that night when it stormed and she had kissed me. It wasn't like when she kissed me while I was in the hospital. This was a real kiss.

"Can I use your phone?" I asked.

"Why?"

"I need to talk with Louisa's mother and tell her what happened."

"Lou might have already told her."

"I know, but I need to tell her my side of it."

"Let me get my phone."

After a long talk with Josie Clark, and a lot of begging, she agreed to help me win Louisa back. But I wondered if it was too late and Louisa would never forgive me.

Louisa didn't speak to or look at me the whole flight and, when we arrived at Heathrow, she had just walked off. My mother had given me a disappointed look and the van ride home was brutal.

"How could you do that?!" Georgina demanded as she and Mother entered my room after Nathan had placed me on the bed for a kip and I glanced at them.

"I take it Mother told you about Clark quitting," I said and Georgina sat down hard on the bed.

"Yes, I did. William, what the hell happened?!" Mother demanded. I explained everything as they glared at me then Georgina sighed, shaking her head.

"You are such an ass," Georgina said.

"I agree."

"I agree as well, but what do I do now? I love her. I love her more than any woman I have ever known," I said and I blinked the tears from my eyes.

"If you want my opinion…," Georgina said.

"Where is he?!" came from the hallway as Nathan appeared in the doorway with a young lady I have never seen before.

"Who are you?" Mother asked.

"I am Katrina Clark. Louisa's sister," Katrina said and I saw the anger in her eyes and on her face.

"How…? How is Clark…Uh…Louisa?" I asked.

"She's devasted! It's bad enough she knew you were going off to kill yourself…"

"How did she know that?" Georgina asked.

"She said she had heard you two talking about it," she said, pointing at Georgie and Mother.

"Oh dear," Mother said with a sigh.

"She did her damnedest to make you see life is worth living, but you just go and break her heart!" Katrina said, glaring at me.

"It wasn't on purpose," I said. She must have seen the sad look on my face as Katrina walked to the bed and Georgina got up so she could sit down.

I noticed the family resemblance between her and Clark as I made a small smile and she carefully lifted my left hand then she wrapped our fingers together. Nathan signaled for Mother and Georgina to follow him as I was left alone with Katrina and she waited for me to say something. I looked deeply into her eyes when I explained and she didn't interrupt me. She just sat there. Listening. When I was done, Katrina got up, left the room then she returned with Nathan.

"Get him up. We need to stop Lou from doing something stupid," Katrina said with a bossy tone in her voice.

"What is she going to do?" I asked.

"She is going to ask Patrick to marry her."

I kept hoping I didn't suffer an AD attack or something far worse the whole ride to the track where Patrick ran when the van pulled up and Nathan helped me out of the back of the van. There was a path for me to use as we went to find Louisa when I saw her talking with Patrick. Since the day we met, I never liked Marathon Boy, but I was devastated with the thought of her settling for him when I was the one who she loved. We were too far away to hear when they were saying, but I could see Patrick well enough to know he wasn't pleased. We stopped a short distance away when he walked off and Louisa sank to the ground, sitting on her bottom. Katrina and Nathan looked at me when I flipped the joystick and the wheelchair went onto the track, heading toward her.

"Clark?"

"No! I can't deal with you right now!" she said as she stood up then she walked down the track. I wasn't going to let her walk away this time as I flicked the joystick and the wheelchair moved forward. Then it stopped. I kept flicking the joystick, but the wheels only spun around faster and faster and some of the grit was hitting my head, neck, shoulders, arms and hands.

"Clark! Wait! Come back! I'm stuck!"

I prayed she would stop and she did as she turned, walking back to me. I could feel something wet moving down the sides of my face and neck as she stood in front of me and I glanced at her. She didn't say anything for a few seconds then she walked to the back of my wheelchair and I wondered what she was doing. She had gotten the box of baby wipes out of the bag at the back of my wheelchair as she used some of the wipes to clean my face and neck and I winced. She then checked my shoulders, arms and hands and she used the wipes to clean the small cuts.

"You really are a knob head," she whispered and I smiled.

"I am also a heartless, stubborn, self-centered ass."

"Yeah, you are."

"Clark, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to listen to me. You don't have to say anything. Just listen. After I'm done, you can go."

"Go on," she said as she crossed her arms over her chest and I swallowed the lump which had formed in my throat. I looked her straight in the eyes while I told her everything then I waited for her response. The one thing I noticed was she was saying more with her eyebrows then with any other feature on her face and I could see the internal conversation she was having with herself. It felt like forever until she sat down on my lap and she slid her left arm around my shoulders.

"Well?" I asked with a crack in my voice.

"A part of me wants to just walk away. You really hurt me," she said with tears in her eyes.

"I know."

"Then there is the part of me which is shocked that you went through all this trouble. You didn't have to repay me or give me anything. All I need… All I want is you."

"Don't you want to go to school or travel?"

"Yeah, but it wouldn't matter. Not without you being there."

"Clark, there might be a time when I might not be there."

"Right, but, for now, I just want to be with you. That way, when the time comes, I will be able to carry on because of the memories I'll keep in my heart of the times we had together."

I must have started crying due to her carding the back of my head and she was making soft hushing noises.

"You forgive me then?" I asked and she gently kissed my lips.

"Yeah."

"And you still love me?"

"Yeah."

"You don't want Patrick?"

"Turns out he doesn't want me."

"He's an idiot," I teased and she laughed. "You still want to stay with me?"

"Yeah."

"You still want to go to Switzerland?" I asked and she gave me a blank look as I waited for my answer.

_12 August – Switzerland_

The warmth of the sunlight woke me as I opened my eyes then I looked at the room. I was surprised to find the room I had reserved at the lodge I had been to the last time I was in Switzerland was all white. The floor. The ceiling. The walls. The bathroom. The furniture. The bedding. The curtains. They were snow white. I felt like I was in a hospital room. The only saving grace was the view from the windows. The landscape was green with splashes of colors from the flowers and I could just see the mountains.

"Hey," made me glance at the door while Louisa walked in the room and she sat on the bed. She carefully snuggled against my left side as she placed her hand on my chest and I gave her a sleepy smile.

Her family, along with Mother and Georgina, was relieved when we had gone back to her house then the annex and she told them she had forgiven me.

"Hi," I said and she leaned up a little to kiss me. I decided to grow out my beard until the small cuts healed and she remarked she liked how rugged I looked. We had talked about the letter I sent, the cheque and the bank account and she told me she didn't want the cheque. She did, however, want to go to university to study fashion and interior design. Mother told us she would sponsor Louisa and Louisa starts classes in September. As for the bank account, we both agreed the bank account should stay open until…

"Stop."

"Stop what?" I asked and I saw her moving her hand up and down my chest.

"Stop looking so sad."

"Sorry. I was just thinking. You do know what today is, right?"

"Yeah, I know. Today is when you were supposed to die."

"Instead, I just took a kip then I woke up, seeing my angel standing in the doorway."

"Will…."

I love making her blush. She looked so cute.

"Face it, Clark, you are the reason why I want to wake up."

"I know," she said then she looked at the window. "It's a really nice out. Would you like to go for a walk before dinner?"

A few minutes later, I was outside. Going down the path with my best friend and the woman I love.


End file.
